What do you do when you lose sight of your purpose? Life has a funny way of changing up on you. You know who you are and what you want in life. Then it throws you a curve ball and you suddenly aren’t sure about anything. It can be the death of a loved one, or the loss of a job or relationship. This change welcomes in confusion and doubt about your life and purpose.
This was my story and it hindered me for quite some time. The curve ball was an out of state move and dropping off my youngest at a college 9 hours away. My initial reaction was joy and elation but as the dust settled and time ticked away uncertainty moved in. I struggled with the quietness of having to think more about me. What did I like or what did I want were questions that I continuously pondered. I missed having the responsibility of raising my children, it was easy and came naturally to me. Strangely the same nurturing that I poured on them challenged me when it needed to be redirected towards me.
I was harder on myself than I had ever been on them. I wanted to rush through this experience and get to the other side without seeking to understand what was happening. My wake up call came when my weight ballooned up by 20 pounds and my clothes no longer fit. Swollen ankles and lackluster energy set in; I needed help and I found it in working out.
Starting slowly was a challenge. Each workout produced an enormous amount of sweat which represented a release of every insecurity, fear, and doubt. The weight dropped off and I learned that I liked being and feeling strong. Weight training became addictive and I enjoyed watching the physical change along with my internal healing. I began to focus on my interests which included meeting other women that had a similar story and sharing my own.
Before I knew it, my thinking became clearer and this enabled me to focus on being happy and more importantly being joyful. I have embraced the transition and I am excited to be on this journey and look forward to all that is has to offer.